ARGH!!! I"M SO SO SIANZ OF SCH... Nothg goes well this wk...

1stly, mon went well... I thot it would also go well in e future as well... I got into band. Thurs I had e 1st band meeting. N once I stepped in e rm, e nightmare had begun. ..

We had to try instru again... >.< We had already tried during e 1st audition lor! Y do we hav to keep trying?! Then me n amanda were asked to try french horn even though we told e tcher we tried for trumpet e previous time... I couldn't blow. I don't noe how to control my lips. It's just difficult. Then i was asked to try e oboe, flute, clarinet, saxaphone ( dono how to spell ) and to this big instru ( 4got e name) n last of all trumpet. I wanted trumpet, clarinet or percussion. But at tt time i just couldn't blow it. I remembered for e auditions, I didn't spent much time blowing it. Then a few of us were forced to be assigned to those instru where nobody wants. I was assigned to e big instru which i keep forgetin e name of it. I wanted to cry then but I just ren3.

Then we went back to e rm, then ppl were askin wad instru i got in. E more ppl asked bout it, n e more i think bout it, I just CRIED. Then when ppl was movin out of e rm, they were lookin at me. I was standin at e doorstep. I just continued crying... I don like e instru. Then ppl were consoling me but e more ppl console me, e more i couldn't stop crying. I just don noe y! Then later Amanda follow me to e toilet to wash my face, but i was sobbin all e way there. E seniors n my frens had been tryin to console me even after i stopped cryin just sobbin. So THX ALOT! =) Still, those who were unsatisfied with their instru had to stay back on Fri.

I was hoppin to change my instru. I just wan to change to a smaller 1 n a 1 tt i will hav interest in learning. We had to wait till 4pm. N only 4 ppl were unsatisfied... OMG. We had to sit in front of e instructor. I said lots of reasons, but because e rest r full, we couldn't change. We noe tt on Thurs le... I said i wanted percussion, so i was asked to try out. But it was difficult to play. I had only learnt e keyboard for few months n i stopped at e start of yr of p6. I 4got wad i've learnt. More than 1 yr passed le... N i seldom practiced, only once in a while play for fun. So i 4got how to read e notes n i was so tense up then.

Yesterday i tried until my lips hurt n my stomach was kinda bloated... Cause need to take in alot of air to play. I since young stomach tend to zhang4 de. Not because too full but air go in. Dono by how. But mayb because i sometimes hav block nose hav to breathe usin mouth ba. Then e air go in??? I don noe. But it's e truth. I'm not lying! I also said i mayb putting braces. I don mind not puttin if they assigned me to a instru tt i liked. But still, e instructor could defend everythg tt i hav said. No choice, i had to try e instru for 1 MTH. Omg... I couldn't even stand a min blowin it. My lips hav these werid weird feelin n i feel kinda headache playin it. I almost cried again in front of e instructor. But i just ren3 again. Then at home, i cried. I cried till i fall asleep. It's gd cause i didn't hav to think bout it when slping... I woke up at 10.30 pm. I skipped my dinner. I don feel like eating... In fact, I didn't even eat my lunch. I only drank a packet of ice lemon tea. But my mother brought satay bee-hoon, so i just ate a few mouths for supper.

Just e 1st 2 days i spent at band, i cried each day. I wondered if i will cry everyday after e training in e future... Homework hav to fan3, CCA also hav to fan3. Y is my sec 1 life so fan3...

I like e band seniors... They all very nice. Haiz. But i don feel happy playin tt instru... How???

btw, now is 2.12 AM. I couldn't slp...

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I don wan to learn somethg i don like...

I just hope I can change instru...

Now i'm having running nose... Yesterday even worse, once i reached home i just cried also. Even longer than today. Once i cry, take very long to stop de. When p1 can cry for like more than 5 hrs. But i so long nvr cry le... But for today ( yesterday ) n thurs, i cried because of e same thg. At nite I had to do hw, but my eyes hurts, nose hurts, lips pain, lips dry, body slightly ache, so very hard to concentrate. N i was very tired also...
Well... Tt's e end of my post... Now goin to 2.30AM le. I will hav to try to slp. ZzZ...